Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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