This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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