do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize