I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Dicks are not precious.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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