don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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