My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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