I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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