Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
