it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
