don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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