Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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