Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
