There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
