where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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