Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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