we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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