dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
