i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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