Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
