There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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