do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
