Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
