i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
