if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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