8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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