yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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