That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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