Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Randomize