Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We're using joints as your birthday candles
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
