I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
