When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
