you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
