I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
