Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
