In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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