You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize