You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
