doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
