O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
