i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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