Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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