hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
