Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
