her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
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