He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize