Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just gift wrapped bread.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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