a queef is a wish your heart makes.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
This can only be settled by a dance off.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
