No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize