You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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