You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
