Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
