Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
