do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
