You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
