I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
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