if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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