Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
