Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize