idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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