Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
