you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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