New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize