i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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