from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
