I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
