the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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