My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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