He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
