it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
