Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
