Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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