It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
