The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm both gender and math confused
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
