And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
